Sandy Lovepole RIP

 Sandy Lovepole at the New Deer Adult Film Festival in 1982

The North East has woken up today to the sad and untimely death of prolific Doric Adult Filmmaker Sandy Lovepole.

Sandy was born Alexander Cruickshank in 1956 in Cullen and was the only son of Geordie and Margaret Cruickshank. He died unexpectedly, mysteriously and violently on Sunday night.

He was schooled at Cullen Primary and later Buckie Academy from which he was expelled after using the school’s AV equipment to make his first movie “Neep Throat”. He was lent the equipment by his art teacher who he cites as being his mentor, Mrs Trick who lost her teaching job as a result. Fans of Lovepole’s work will of course know that his teacher became his first muse and he coined her screen name Ma Strict. Ma Strict would star in many of Lovepole’s early films such as Debbie does Durris, StrathBoogie Nights, Swingin’ in Finzean, Nicky-Tam Nympho, Jizzom Bizzom and Mounting Hooly.

He would return to Cullen in his thirties to make his seminal film “The Misadventures of the Cullen Skank”, the film which later would see him nearly financially ruined when a former fishwife girlfriend, Kitty Brewster took him to court when she claimed he had used their relationship as the basis for the film. Lovepole settled out of court on the understanding that she would make no claims to his fortune in the future. 

Brewster was to open a chain of chipshops with her settlement. Critics believe that his hardcore masterpiece “Foamin' at the Gashvale Chipper” was a response to the whole affair but Lovepole would neither confirm nor deny this although Gashvale’s lead actor Hugh Jass (and star of gay Doric porn classics “Holeburn Junction”, "Ken Fits", “A Scot's Queer” “RothienorManLove” and “ Sunset Schlong”)  let slip in an interview with the Ellon Advertiser that Brewster’s lawyers had once turned up on set. Kitty Brewster and Lovepole did later bury the hatchet and he claimed he wrote the script for Methlick my Bum as a thinly veiled apology/love letter to her after caught e-coli from a rank white puddin’ and nearly died.

Lovepole’s career went into decline after the untimely death of his 3^rd wife and former Doric porn legend Rose Mount who he always claimed had choked on a buttery after one of their love making sessions. The P and J made his life hell with a series of reports with thinly veiled reports of sexual misadventure. He lost his libel suit against Aberdeen Journals which saw him pay costs and settle a counter suit. He set about rebuilding his empire with a string of ill judged films for the hardcore European market. He released a string of poorly received under the counter films “Fist Like?” “Bellabegs for It” , “Rita, Sue and the Turra Coo” , “Teabagging at Tyrebagger”, “In the Butt o’ Ben”  and “Sheep Impact”. 

He claimed his career was saved when he started collaborating with young Doric porn wunderkind Girth Dee. The two met at the premier of Girth’s student film, a Doric reimagining of Erica Jong’s feminist masterpiece, “Fear of Fly Cupping”. Lovepole was oft quoted calling Girth Dee “my natural successor” and “my young apprentice”. The two would go on to make Doric Porn classics “Yer MaCamerons!” and “Twa Quines ain Quaich”, both of which crossed into the international market and were translated  from the Doric into 25 languages including Lallans and Gaelic. Garth Dee is reportedly scripting a Doric Porn Opera in tribute to the great man. He said yesterday, "Lovepole and I always talked about doing Madam Butterfly but setting it in The Broch. It's got everything, that opera. We were thinking some loon fae the Broch deflowers this wee Japanese lassie fae a trendy sushi bar in Toon then fucks off, like..."

Sandy is survived by umpteen weans throughout the Grampian area and his lovely 6^th wife and former muse Babs Oot-Firthelads (star of “Giving Peterheid” “Crude Bay” and “Fat Boddam Girl” which saw Peterhead dubbed The Blue Toon by Empire Magazine) and his mistress and most recent leading lady Helen Midden (Star of “The Cromarty Filth”, “The Quine” and “The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and her Funcy Piece”) who has been left a share of his considerable fortune. 

Girth Dee inherits all of Lovepole’s film props and the secret recipe for Lovepole’s patented sexual lubricant which is effective in temperatures to a wind-chill factor of -25degrees.

Sandy Lovepole (7 August 1956-3^rd March 2011)

This post is for everyone who made me laugh on Tuesday night on twitter with the #doricporn theme. I've stolen all your stuff! (Follow them:  @ABZQuine @GordonWright @andiabz @markrae @redbellyboy @BeefyLorelei @DaisyGlaisy @arricc @Mr_Paw_Broon @Jamsie @jenstar77 @bcnsco @Christeenie @renamuscanada @grahamecase @vambo @LuciusShitface @rxpell @roomitchell @BillySangster @SaorEcosse @clarkie1973 @weebesom @ColinWHutch @ajjohnstone @simebo @KirstenHay1971 @peelywallysnr @sabele26 @hopemanman @naechance @Hamespun @rabcgray @coachingabn @apexofthecurve @watty62 @BraeScotland @lenathehyena @alisonsdiary @brianjaffa and me @misssym

....and possibly more I've left out by mistake- let me know if you were involved and I'll add your tweetname to the roll call)

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